


Alaska Is Cold (Without You)

by circusdad



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Captain Logan's a dick, I mean it there's no fluff at all, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, M/M, Post-Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Self Harm, give ted a hug pls, he gets his haircut, like Neo, ted cries a lot, the bitch was supposed to help them, they get one kiss, they're mad at rufus, very brief and not that extreme at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:26:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28851297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/circusdad/pseuds/circusdad
Summary: It wasn't Fair. They'd aced their History report, so why was Ted being sent away? Alaska was far and cold and lonely.
Relationships: Ted "Theodore" Logan/Bill S. Preston Esq.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Alaska Is Cold (Without You)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ficlet on this site, and my first for Bill and Ted, so please be gentle :-( It was tough to write so I hope it turned out alright!

It wasn't fair.

They'd done everything- _EVERYTHING_ \- right! They'd put together the most non-heinous history report and aced the class, they'd spent the last months of school studying their asses off and had gotten at least a C- in every other. Hell, they'd even said they'd quit the band for a while!

But it was all the same. It didn't matter that they'd done it all right, they'd done better than they'd ever thought they would, but it seemed Captain Logan was a delusional prick who didn't have an ounce of love in his heart for Ted 'Theodore' Logan. 

Under his pillow, he left it. Not in his sock drawer like he usually did. He was just too tired to care enough. _There's more than one thing that needs straightening out in you,_ his dad had spat. It was a magazine- a misplaced fucking magazine was the pairs downfall.

Misplaced anger was what the boy was showered and berated with- Captain Logan wasn't angry at him, he was angry at the world (And also him, but Ted doesn't think he can handle to have that admitted to him- he'd break). Angry at the world and at Ted's mother for tying him down with a baby he never wanted, and once he had gotten an excuse to leave, a way out, she died and all of the sudden, again, he was stuck with a lowlife such as Ted, a would-be couch surfer no doubt- a fucking _poofter._ Ted was gobby and soft in his father's eyes, and in every way he was no way like his father had wanted, so. He'd reign abuse and insults and downright cruel words that Ted ever did anything to deserve.

It all went balls-up, and Ted didn't know how he could possibly tell Bill about it.

Oh, Bill.

The though of it made him queasy and delirious and he'd expelled his stomach matter more than once in the hour that led up to their meeting. He was cut down by negative emotions and untamed fear- he couldn't go to alaska, he couldn't, he couldn't, _he couldn't!_

He was manhandled into a chair at the thirty minute mark.

"Proper boys get proper haircuts not this shaggy mess you've decided to keep," and scissors went to chopping his raven locks. 

"No, please, I don't want to go- I can't go, get off me!"

But he was always tossed back into the chair and his hair was tugged harshly to make him sob and stay put until every piece he could chew on was cast to the floor.

And then he was pushed out and it felt wrong, it felt awkward, he was floating in an abyss he wouldn't be able to save himself from- sinking, sinking, drowning, help him and he didn't know what he was going to do.

Ten minutes till, he sat in his room, pulling on rollerblades for faster travel to the blonds home, doubling over a bucket, grabbing his hair and hitting his head and sobbing and screaming and cursing and- he'd never acted such a way before. But then again, he was never put in this position before and he was scared and anxious and angry and terrified and- oh, god, he couldn't do this!

His hair was his security blanket. He'd hide behind it when the waves came crashing down and nothing could move it, not the saltwater, not the pressure, _not the screaming or the abuse_ not the fish or debris _not the weed or his nails digging into his skin-_ not anything. Now it was gone, so all that was there was the screaming, but this time it was his own, the hitting his knees, grabbing them so tight he broke skin, the _everything._

Five minutes till and he was skating down a chipped sidewalk, praying and hoping that he'd trip over a crack and bust his head- he couldn't leave if he was dead, he couldn't break Bill's heart if he was dead, he wouldn't kill himself if he was dead- but he didn't. For better or worse.

He knocked, and when the door opened, Bill seemed plesantly chuffed about something, laughing out a, "Dude, your hair!" before he realised how wrecked Ted looked. Bruises on his legs and head from his own doing and the blood that ran down his knees and the tears and the overall state of disheveledness. Ted was gagging for this to be fake. He needed this to be a dream.

"I leave June 25th, Bill," he choked out. And that's when he broke. It was like lava, it was everything and nothing, it was this and that and those and he couldn't take it anymore. He fell harshly to his knees, Bill following him down and they hugged tightly. Bills clothes were balled tight in Ted's fist, tears soaked his shoulder but he payed no mind, grabbing on to Ted as if instead of leaving in a week, he would leave the moment he was released. "I don't wanna go, we did everything right," he sobbed. He was all but screaming the words. "Rufus should have known! Why didn't he tell us?"

"Ted.."

There was nothing he could do. They would be ripped apart, brutally, painfully, way quicker than either wanted. This wasn't how it was supposed to be- Ted was right. Rufus came to them with the soul purpose to help them stay together! They needed to- they had a purpose! 

"I don't want you to go, dude," Bill whispered. And his voice was shaking and soaking with emotion and the sentence hid the loudest silent 'i love you!' anyone could have ever said.

They sat there for a while. It felt like hours, days, weeks, when it was only a few minutes.

"I'll wait for you," Bill said. "For as long as I need to, my most excellent friend. Years, decades.. Dude, mail me letters.."

"You too, Bill.. I- I'll miss you, I- I don't wanna leave," he sobbed, hugging Bill impossibly tighter.

It wasn't what either of them wanted to say. They wanted to say let's run away from here together or you don't have to leave, we can think of something or anything else except:

"I guess this is goodbye," Ted mumbled.

"We still have a week."

"It's not enough time, Bill! There are too many things we still have to do.. Like.."

A distressed groan and Ted pulled away from the hug, pressing his lips tightly to Bill's. It tasted of cherry chopstick and tears but it was nice, and it only served to ground them further to what's bound happen.

Ted broke it with a sob, hugging his best friend once more. "I love you, dude," Bill mumbled.

"I love you, too. Alaska's gonna be cold without you."


End file.
